Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
can you please not set my house on fire for once???