I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize