Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
