Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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