One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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