Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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