and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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