dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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