Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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