please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
