I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
