I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
