dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
