i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.