The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
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Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.