We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick