Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
