Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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