i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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