So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
