the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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