I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Pooping to opera.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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