3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.