so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
