I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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