It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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