sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Who died my cat blue again?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
