Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
