To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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