If i come over, it means nothing
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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