I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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