There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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