Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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