I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
