mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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