So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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