I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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