hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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