apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
someone owes me an orgasm
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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