I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize