So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm bleeding and have questions
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
