i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
