My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I use my feet as sexual weapons
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
