Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
