I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
