ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i think we sleep fucked last night...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize