I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
