Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
