I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
