At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
