3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
