garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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