Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
