i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
