doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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