Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize