I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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