At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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