You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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