I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
