I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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