Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
