I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
