nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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