Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow