I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is