do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.