Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
