Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
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He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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