those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
When are your genitals available?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.