Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
only you would photoshop your dick
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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