dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
