This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
