Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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