Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

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(847): just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame' http://tfl.nu/un7j

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(443): View more from Maryland

Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.

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(443): Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you. http://tfl.nu/z07c

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?

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(410): I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this? http://tfl.nu/lrwi

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(770): View more from Georgia

i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow

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(770): i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow http://tfl.nu/owei

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(303): View more from Colorado

At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

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(303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends. (1-303): At about the same time you guys weren't burritos. http://tfl.nu/mxci

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(217): View more from Illinois

What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up

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(217): What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up http://tfl.nu/ae7w

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(305): View more from Florida

and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

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(305): and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him http://tfl.nu/st8n

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.

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(313): Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot. http://tfl.nu/hre1

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(970): View more from Colorado

There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?

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(970): There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/w1xa

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(330): View more from Ohio

I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.

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(330): I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show. http://tfl.nu/dej0

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(585): View more from New York

Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up

(1-585): View more from New York

Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit

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(585): Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up (1-585): Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit http://tfl.nu/gck7

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.

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(859): I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn. http://tfl.nu/8uge

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(541): View more from Oregon

When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?

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(541): When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party? http://tfl.nu/4whz

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(216): View more from Ohio

Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message

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(216): Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message http://tfl.nu/1r6g

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(530): View more from California

How on earth did you break your wrist?

(1-530): View more from California

I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing

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(530): How on earth did you break your wrist? (1-530): I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing http://tfl.nu/cks1

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